If you're bored enough to be reading this, I pity you. Now piss off you freak.

For those of you who care; I'm currently in 2 bands. One is an Accoustic Black Metal band (in the vein of Impaled Northern Moonfrost and Nocturnal Blasphemy, if you don't know what ABM is give me a sec) and the other is... well to be honest I don't know what it is. They say they want it to sound like Opeth. To me it sounds like it randomly switches 'twixt rock and metal. Whatever, I bass it anyhow.
On to ABM. Accoustic Black Metal is... erm... well quite poor actually. The idea is to get a load of people together who can't play their chosen instruments (I play accoustic guitar for this, detuned of course) and get them to play truly awful music. Black Metal is good, Acoustic Black Metal is quite shit really. But good fun. The idea is to have a sense of humour when playing/listening to it. I could do the whole grimnecro patter here but I'm quite knackered so I can't be bothered right now. Anyhow, the line-up:

- Myself on detuned accoustic guitar and backing 'vocals'.
- Andy on thighs and lead 'vocals'
- Whoever else we can get to do random stuff. Usually chopstick and backing screams. This week an old friend came up name of Lyndon, so we got him to record some stuff with us.

Track Listing so far:

- Beware of Necrobobsledders
- Entry of the Gods into Grimhalla (an epic! A whole 2 mintues 20 seconds!)
- The More Necrolytic Sound of Silence [Simon and Garfunkel Cover]
- Do Forgir (Norwegian for 'Die Poser')
- Hitler Hails the Truly Grim and Inverted NecroCabbage (truly tasteless)
- Inverted Necrogoblin Satanist [Wearing a Hat From Norway - In the North]
- Swords, Bikes and How Much We Love Ourselves [A Truly Frostbitten Tribute to Man'O'War]
- Donald Duck is a Black Metal Legend
- Hail to the Chin (A Tribute to Bruce Campbell)
- Sodomising a Moongoat on the Northernest Northern North Glacier of Norway - In the North
- Montevani [A Tribute to Peter Sellers]
- Pingu Hails the Necrowizard

Among others, will update when I can find the damned file.

Forthcoming projects include going to the castle at midnight of a full moon with a Fisher Price cassette recorder and recording an entire albums worth of content; and we found a site with a load of really bad Pingu fan poetry, which we're going to turn into a concept album.

Anyhow, stay grim y'all

HAIL THE NECROWIZARD!
THE BLOOD OF A THOUSAND POSERS ON MY BLADE!